Deflated

I had a hard time today. Usually my blogs are so happy and hopeful, but today for the first time I thought to myself, "why am I doing this?" Our run was meant to be 13 miles, but at about mile 7 I felt my knee start to hurt again so I stopped at 8 miles.

I had spoken with the coaches and they didn't think I should run at all but aqua jog (I'd never heard of it either, but basically it is treading water with really high knees and moving in circles around the deep end of the pool - no impact). I really wanted to run, and I especially wanted to run 13 miles because it would have been a half marathon! I hadn't yet committed to the full, but I kind of thought it would be cool. Today I thought, I have tons of time ahead of me to get to the full, why kills yourself now - there is no shame in running a half? There is an amazing amount of peer pressure though, well intentioned I'm sure, but people on the team say "you are only running the half? Come on! You can do the full!" I'm still conflicted about it, the coaches seemed to think it was no big deal and we could work past it. It probably isn't a big deal, but I felt very deflated not to finish the run with my group. I also felt angry at my knee for not being on board with the running.

Most of all, I thought if I weighed 30 pounds less it probably wouldn't be so much pressure on my joints....

Good news though, I'm $95 away from my goal! If you've been waiting to donate, I think now is a good time! Don't worry, I'm completed the race no matter what.. walk, run, limp, or crawl.